You've Got Verve
by Compelled
Summary: AU, typical fanfiction universe Sora is flamboyant, Riku is single, Roxas has an online relationship with someone no else knows about, and Loz is the only straight man introduced so far. CRACK
1. Spatula Kinks

You've Got Verve Main Pairings for this chapter: Cleon, Roxas/InternetCreeper, KadajReno

Warnings: Faggotry, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS. I mean crack, like, **LozLarxene.**

* * *

_"Wake up, you sleepyhead, get up, get out of bed, see how the sun is shining! Get up and wiggle your toes, tell them 'It's time to go!' we've got a lot to do today!"_

Sora flounced into his brother's room, singing happily in a towel, and tickled his ribs, and pulled at his toes. Roxas rolled onto his stomach, and Sora flounced back out, his towel slipping lightly.

**"You are my sunshine! My only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are grey! You'll never know, dear, how much I love you! Don't you take my sunshine away!"**

Sora returned again, sitting on the edge of his brother's bed in pink and red cheetah striped skinny jeans. His finger's ran through Roxas' tangled hair, nails scratching his scalp. Roxas' arm flung out to shove Sora off the bed. Sora pouted.

_**"I'm Henry the 8th I am! Henry the 8th I am, I am! I got married to the widow next door! She's married 7 times before! And every one was a Henery! A Henry! Never had a Willy or a Sam! No Sam!"**_

Sora jumped up and down on Roxas' bed, his hair perfectly spiked, an opal ring shining on his ring finger. Roxas sat up and crept off the bed toward the bathroom, snarling at his androgynus brother. Sora grinned as Roxas flipped a perfectly manicured fingernail in his direction.

"Love you too!" He repsonded, skipping down the stairs.

"And I think to myself... what a wonderful world!" Thier cousin Cloud was infront of the stove, singing quietly to himself as he flipped pancakes. His hair, which is where Roxas got the inspiration for his own style, was flattened from sleep and shiny from gel. He had a pink polka dot apron wrapped around his waist, jeans, and a VNeck white shirt, while Leon was propped on the counter next to him, eating the chocolate chips that were leftover. The brunette was leaning agianst the cabnits in nothing but cut-off sweatpants that were low on his hips to show plaid boxers. Sora squealed, running at his cousins and latching onto Leon's bare (and very, very smoooth) leg.

"Sora, why are you nuzzling my leg?" The voice was muffled by chocolate.

"Smoooothhh..." He purred in responce, smiling. Cloud laughed, whacking him gently on the top of the head. He detached himself and sat at the table, crossing his legs. Roxas stumbled down and swiped a handleful of chocolate chips with a wink at Leon. The brunette laughed, sliding off the counter, and Cloud whipped around and smacked the spatula agaisnt his ass. Leon arched slightly, trying to hide the reaction, but the brother's caught it and winked at one another.

Cloud came from their Mom's side, and Leon from thier Father's. Leon was related by marriage, and Cloud by blood- as was obvious from MiniMe aka Roxas. They often came when thier parents went out of town on buisness trips/vacations and stayed with them. The twins had been trying to get them together for months. The routine was much more sitcom when they were around. Thier loving blonde mommy making pancakes and singing, the childish father swiping sweets with the two sons who were almost opposites. If, that is, all of them were men, the parents were really cousins who lusted after each other, one boy wanted to be a girl, and the other was a sex kitten who had a devoted and constant relationship- ionline/i. But hey, it'd make an interesting show- wouldn't it?

Speaking of a sex kitten- there was a thud from the backyard, then the door by the fridge slid open. Kadaj and Riku stepped in and grinned cheesily.

"They do have a perfectly good front door, ya know, and you can enter it." Leon said, pointing toward the living room. Sora and Cloud exchanged a glance before collasping into giggles. Kadaj caught on and winked. Riku sighed and dropped his bookbag by Roxas, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not a front door kinda guy. Back doors are way more my style." Kadaj was dripping with obvious inuendo and Leon flushed.

"Oh S.T.F.U. Kadaj, and quit trying to act like you top. You, me, and Sora all know that your ass is Reno's, and so help me god you love being pounded in the shower by his hard and-" Sora's giggles were louder than ever, and Riku was blushing whith his brother sporting an obvious boner. Roxas continued to describe the lewd acts without breathing.

"Hey, Cloud, what's S.T.F.U.?" Leon blinked toward the blonde, who seemed unaffected by his cousin's porno talk.

"Shut the fuck up." He responded, causing Leon's eyes to widen in offense. He blinked a few times before realizing what he meant. Cloud shuffled around the kitchen collecting the dishes to wash, and Leon returned his attention to the teens.

"Okay... time for school kiddo-ohmygod! Kadaj get your hands out of your goddamn pants this minute!" Sora slid from his chair with a thud, his head hitting the back of Riku's knee, causing the boy to fall face forward onto the floor. Roxas spewed orange juice all over the table, as Kadaj grinned cheekily from his place leaning agaisnt the wall, with both hands shoved inside his grey jeans.

"Sorry, Leo. Roxas got me all hot and bothered!" Cloud swung toward the silverette, grazing his ear with a saucepan. Kadaj's eyes widened in horror and he yanked his hands from his pants and darted out the door. Cloud slumped forward a bit, the pan clattering to the floor.

"Get. Out. Your. Gonna. Be. Late." He growled, and the boys ran to get their bags, Riku pulling hismelf from the floor. Sora skipped over with a giggle and planted a kiss on his forhead, getting a mouthful of spikes, then turning to Leon and catching the man's cheek.

"Buh bye!" He called, slamming the door behind him. Cloud and Leon turned to each other with a sigh, bursting out into laughter.

"Did Kadaj seriously just try to whack off in our kitchen?" Cloud nodded and slumped in giggles agaisnt Leon's side. Leon's chuckles subsided and he glanced down at the man.

'Pzzshhht. Hear that children, that is the magical sound of sexual tension. Hear it crackle and wrap me in lust. Pzzshtttt' Cloud straightened from his hunched position agaisnt Leon, keeping his hand on his shoulder, and leaning toward him. Leon's breath hitched and he raised a hand to touch Cloud's temple.

"Holy shit!" The two snapped away from each other like broken rubber band to glare at the interruption. Riku had his hand brushing agaisnt his forgotten bookbag as he gaped openly at the two, before spinning on his heel and running out the door.

"Dude! Your cousins were totally about to make out infront of the toaster!" Leon scrunched his face up at the remindence of the fact he and Cloud were technically family, and Cloud slunk off towards the living room.

'PzzSHIT! That is the sound of sexual tension being shattered... Goddamnit, I'm still in an apron.'

_**SCENERYCHANGESCENERYCHANGESCENERYCHANGESCENERYCHANGE**_

Roxas's finger swept across his small keyboard, short and Frenchtipped nails clicking on the buttons. He jabbed his thumb into the round Send button and slid the phone into his jeans. It began vibrating almost immediatly and he whipped it back out to slide open and fling a responce back. Kadaj had calmed _down_ since leaving the house, and Sora was giggling with the girl they picked up, Kairi, about plans to get Cloud and Leon together- Selphie muttering at the to be quiet; it was illegal, remember? But she was promptly ignored. Riku walked in sync with Kadaj, and now Loz, who was the oldest of the siblings that still was in highschool, and talking to the object of his affection, Larxene.

He tried hard to ignore the whispers around him, being the only single Xehnorhart brother was increasingly annoying. Thier mother had left when she found out his father Xemnas and been meeting up with Saix, an old 'friend', quite often. They'd gotten together permently less than a month later. It was a common fact that alot of girls loved gay relationships, and all of the boys were gay except for Loz, who was a Teddy Bear reincarnated. [Or so they thought. Loz was actually really sadistic and cruel, so he and Larxene bonded instantly.] Riku had it bad enough with Kadaj dry humping, literally,Reno in the halls between classes and Yazoo slinking around with Rude in thier 'secret' relationship. When they where caught with Rude yanking Yazoo's long hair back to expose his neck, and Yazoo calling him _Daddy_, of all the ridiculous petnames, it wasn't very secret. And may Baby Jesus forbid his eldest brother Sephiroth came around with iboth/i his boyfriends. Riku often felt like he lived in a gay brothel.

Yazoo was a few feet away smoking, sitting on Rude's car, and Reno began fake 'slowmo' running towards them. Kadaj broke out of the pack to do the same until they collided in a passionate kiss, falling to the asphalte. Larxene gave them a kick as she walked past, and Loz threw an arm over her shoulder. Sora 'aw'ed at them as he past and Riku groaned.

"Roxas, your not talking to that guy still are you? He could be sixty years old and dangerous!" A soft voice called over that the texter, filled with motherhen concen. Roxas looked up to see Namine as she walked over with her friend, Marluxia, who snickered cruelly.

"Your gonna get skull raped." He sneered, flipping feathered hair. His fuckfriend, Vexen, sputtered out his coffee, and a passing Zexion thumped him on the back, hand in Demyx's back pocket.

"He isn't like that!" Roxas defend, and Yazoo smiled over his shoulder, flicking his ashes onto the ground.

"Leave him alone, he's not a dumbshit." Roxas sent a thankful look over at the boy who grinned in return, scratching fingers over his lover's bald head. Rude inclided his head back, ever-so-slightly, and Yazoo purred in responce. It was silent for a moment, until Sora squinted and tilted his head.

"Zomygosh, a squirrel!" He exclaimed, crouched down and pointing, and Reno unleeched himself from Kadaj.

"I'll catch for you, SoraBabe." He ran off, and Kadaj propped himself up on his elbow, red-lipped and hair tangled. They all watched as Reno stealithy walked to the squirrel, and chase it around using an acorn as bait, and Kadaj groaned quietly.

"Now that is a man...." Kairi, Selphie, and Riku all sighed dreamily in responce.

* * *

[A/N: This is simply something for me to spew all my crappy writing into, so that it doesn't leak into my other stories. All the pairings and boylove and noob-esque ideas of fanfiction I can possibly think of; slammed into one convent fanfiction. YAYZ CRACK!  
So, yes, Sora is like typical gayman/JeffreeStar. Roxas is also very metrosexual; 'cept he's homo too; and has text sex all hours of the day with a man he's never seen before. Riku is related to pretty much every popular silver haired character. I love his family, soooo much. Can anyone guess the two BFs of Sephykins? One is crack, SUPRISESUPRISE, but is a character that should've been mention already 'cause he fits with the rest of the cast, and the other is pretty normal for him... I think.  
I hope you enjoy]


	2. Music Worthy Of A PreTeen Girl

Main Pairings for this chapter: Cleon, Roxas/InternetCreeper, SoRiku

Warnings: Faggotry, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS._ Sora saying Va-Jay-Jay._

_**Chapter Two: Music Worthy Of A PreTeen Girl's Birthday Party.**_

They walked into the school as a herd, Yazoo and Rude cool as cumcumbers mainly to contrast Kadaj and Reno- who was pouting dejectedly while Sora tried to soothe him.

"Reno, it's mkaaay. That squirrel was just mean. it's not your fault you couldn't catch him." Selphie cooed and Larxene nudged into Loz's side with a slight twitch and a sneer. The silver haired boy laughed and slung an arm around her. The two rolled thier eyes, then stalked off in the direction of thier homeroom. The groups seperated into Sophmores and Juniors and stalked off toward thier designated classes.

The day went by without much event, as school usually did, save for Riku getting hit on, and boys still trying to decide if Sora disgusted them or turned them on. Roxas chatted with Riku, and a few other boys in his class; in contrast to his twin who much prefered to gossip with however had something to talk about. The bell for lunch rang at 11, and they all walked together to the cafeteria. Sora, Roxas, Riku, Selphie, Kairi, and Reno all had the same lunch period, the rest of their friends having the second. They sat at a table, Yazoo and Reno sitting at one near with some of thier friends; Zell and his partner in crime Seifer standing out the most. Those two had nothing better to do then fight and pick up girls.

The teens sat with a large tray of french fries and drinks, the girls munching on Poptarts from the vending machine. Sora's electric pink boy kept sliding down one of spikes, and he cursed at it.

"Why are you wearing that anyway, you do have a dick." Riku snapped as a Junior girl with big boobs and long hair leaned over his head to fix it, flashing Riku her bra and a wink. Roxas paused, quite comidically, with a fry halfway to his mouth and Selphie gasped. Riku winced and immediatly felt bed as Sora humphed.

"Psh, Riku's frusterated, don't let him get to you, Sora honeybunny." Kairi soothed, glaring toward the now sheepish silverette.

"Geeze, Riku, get your thong outta your Va-Jay-Jay." Sora pouted, and Roxas snorted into his milk.

"Yeah, hey can I borrow your sock?" Roxas turned toward Selphie who smiled widely.

"Why?" Roxas looked confused and Reno leaned in toward thier table.

"Cmon Roxas, I need it. No, Riku needs it!" All eyes turned toward her, and Sora sputtered out laughter.

"But... I'd hafta take off my shoe..." Kairi grinned innocently and cocked her head to the side.

"Why would you but a shoe on it?" She asked, causing Sora to slip backwards off the bench and Roxas to blink in confusion. Selphie roared with laughter.

"Roxas, are you wearing _tube socks_, yo?" The blonde nodded in confusion at the older boy and Red shakes his head.

"Naughty, dirty girls." Zell scolded, smiling all the same. They both giggled and Riku rolled his eyes, gently tapping his fingers agaisnt Sora's wrist. Sora glances over from where Roxas is swapping playful stinging jeers with Seifer, and the girls and Zell who are flirting, and Reno who is shooting down his pick up lines- making the girls giggle harder and Zell mock annoyance. Sora grinned and scrambled _over_ the table, kicking french fries into Riku's lap and snuggling close to him. A chorus of whispers and coos surrounded them for a moment, then quited down. Riku slung his arm over the petite boy as a few cold glances swept thier way, his sea eyes hardening. He glanced down at the boy and blinked hard as his mind began talking to him again; singing loudly.

POVCHANGE/SCENECHANGE: _**Inside Riku's Head.**_ POVCHANGE/SCENECHANGE

**I'm not a girrrrrlll! Not yet a womannnnn! All I neeeeeed is timmmmeee! A moment that is mine!, while I'm in betweennnnn..... I'm not a girrrlll!.... Not yet a woooomannn!** Cue: Sora at the beach, Sora in that shimmery pink lip gloss that smells like vanilla, Sora in your shirt, Sora-

'Alright, Brain, listen here! If you fucking play video montages of Sora to fucking Britney Spears songs I will feed you energy drinks till you crash!' Riku thought to himself viciously

**C'mon now don't be so shy! In those skintight jeans you're my kinda guy! Skintight baby, all right! Turn out the light and take a biteee! Skintight - All Night**

'The Donnas are also unexceptable... GodDamn Sora looks hot in those pants though... Mmm I bet thighs are smooth and tan and hairless and...

**I'ma hit you from the back and make you hollller 'till you pass out!**

'Woah, woah, heyno, woah! Stop! First of all, that song is about getting fights...I think... Second of all, that's a bit better..... I think.... Third of all, I do not like Sora like that.... I think....'

**YOU! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! gay bar? GAY BAR!**

'I'm not in denial, I'm not even confused about my sexuality? Though technically, Sora is kinda like a girl... but he has a penis! I pointed that out! Oh... yeah, I pointed it out....'

**WHOA! WHOA OH! WHY DO I PUT MYSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS?!? WHOA! WHOA OH! I KEEP PUSHING MYSELF EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I CAN'T TAKE IT AT ALL!**

'Thank you for that stimulating chorus. I am not impressed. Good lord, that song is cat-OW!'

POVCHANGE/SCENECHANGE: Back to Normal POVCHANGE/SCENECHANGE

Sora reached up and swiftly pinched Riku's Adam's Apple as the bell rang, shaking his head at the silver haired boy. Riku jumped and the group walked off and seperated to go to thier lockers. Sora fluffed his hair lightly and waltzed into class, sliding gracefully into his seat. Roxas winced at the catcalls he got and slid into the seat behind him protectivly. He spied Yazoo and Rude slinking around the hall, and nudged Sora, who turned to smirk at him. They passed notes through the last class of the day, finally meeting back up with Namine, and Zexion who was smiling a little too much, was a little too jumpy, and who's cheeks were a deep pink, for the last class.

"Oooh, did someone have a nice bathroom break?" Sora giggled, poking the light haired teen in the arm. He jumped and shuffled his notes around, ignoring the wannabe BarbieGirl. Roxas fingers tapped against his phone, but Namine was watching him with a disapproving air and he declined.

SCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCHSCENESWITCH

**"So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine.... I say you look so fine, that I really wanna make you mine.... Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks now you dont need that money when you look like that, do ya honey..... Big. Black. Boots. Long. Brown. Hair."** Leon froze on the couch and muted the TV.

Yes, Cloud was singing again! In the shower! A song that kinda described him. Is that why he was over enunciating his words, or was he just a bad singer?

**"Gotta let me in, hey, hey, hey! Let the fun beginnnnn! Heyyyyy! I'm the wolf today hey, hey, heyyy! I'll huff! I'll puff! I'll hufffff I'll pufffff! And blow you awayyyyy! Say you will! Say you won't! Say you'll do what I don'ttttt! Say you're true, say to me! C'est la vieeeeee!"**

Ohkay, yeah, he was just a bad singer. But this wasn't as stressed... _Crash_! Oh Damn.

Leon shot up from his place on the couch and darted out the stairs, jogging over to the door and swinging it open. The shower was still running and he was blasted in the face with humidity and steam. The curtain was ripped from it rings, and Cloud was standing in a drooping wet towel, barely covering anything. Leon's body stepped forward warily and flicked Cloud's hair from his eyes. A soft finger ran down Leon's nose, lowering onto his shoulder to rest. The towel finally slipped to the floor with a loud 'Flap' and Leon's hair was getting damp from the spraying warm water.

'Pzsht. Pzzsshht. Pzzzssshhht. Pzzzzsssshhhht. PZZZZSSSSHHHT'

Leon tried hard to keep his eyes on Cloud's face, who seemed to be trying just as hard not to look down too. They both jumped suddenly, and Cloud scrambled for a washcloth to hold over his cock and Leon lunged to slap the shower off. Cloud ran toward his room, and Leon deemed it safe to turn around. Just catching a glimpse of Cloud's pale and round ass. Leon grinned and skipped back down the stairs, to leap on the couch. He unmuted the TV and turned it to Cartoon Network as The Hives' commercial segment came one. Cloud came down fully dressed to sit by Leon, laughing along with him as they watched Chowder. The sat with the familiar crackle buzz, the top of Leon's head brushing agaisnt Cloud's thigh, for about half an hour before the door opened and Sora and Roxas walked in, the brunette sighing contendly and snuggling between them to watch with them, and Roxas running upstairs. The blonde threw his book bag onto the floor and leaped onto his bed, pulling out his vibrating phone. He flipped open the text with a grin.

'Hey baby good day school?'

'Yea. u?' Roxas grinned wider at the pet name, leaning agaisnt his pillow. He'd been talking to the boy he'd met through a forum for almost three months, and they both felt a rather strong possesion over each other.

'Lonely without u, course, but kk.' Roxas flushed lightly, and began texting back immediatly.

'Wish i was there to make u feel better' He flushed more and tapped his foot as he awaited an answer. Again, it came right away.

'Mmm, me 2. tho u know im curious...' Roxas smiled through his blush and typed back with shaking hands.

'Kisses' He barely had time to flip the phone shut before it rang again.

'Lots. i bet ur mouths so soft 2.' Roxas tougne flicked out to run over his lips as he texted back.

'It is. i can do lots with it 2' There was a slight pause in the reply that made Roxas hold the phone tightly.

'Fuck babe. the way u talk iv no doubt bout tht. im better with my hands tho, gentl specal hands long fingers, wide palms.... ;D' Roxas gulped as he felt a slight twinge in his gut. He unbuttoned his pants then texted back.

'UnarousedHangman; strike one, pants are gone. u kno where my soft mouth wants 2 b now?'

'No, but i sure as hell wanna. im so turned now'

'Me 2. all over you. nipples specially. your hands in my hair.' Roxas sat up more so he could wrap one hand around his mostly hardened erection.

'I'd move one down to thumb your head, pressing down on ur slit when i arch into your mouth.' Roxas did as he was instructed.

'Shit. id gasp and pull away, moving to rub agaisnt u.' He stroked hard, almost there, to completion.

'God, babe, id love it. id ravage u.

'oh fuck' Was his only responce, and Roxas threw his phone to the side and took his erection in two shaking hands. He stroked hard and fast, imagining he wasn't alone. When he finally got to that point he grasped for his phone again, flipping it open to take a series of pictures. He held it steady while he mimicked had been discribed in the texts, using the flat of his palm with open fingers to end. He exploded and grabbed a towel to clean off his hand, and sent them. After a few minutes, he recieved a 45 second video in responce. He grinned widely and cleaned up; saving it watch later before his shower

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Can anyone name the songs used in todays chapter? Major props if you can guess the second one Cloud sings in the shower. It used to be my fav.  
uhm, chapter dedication or something if you can get all of them.  
I feel like the style for this chapter changed.... I think it's because I'm on a lot of medicine right now.


	3. HeyHeyHey

Main Pairings for this chapter: SoRiku, RudeYazoo, and XemSai Warnings: Faggotry, Sexual Content, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS.

"Hey, Sora, you still coming to hang out at my house today?" Riku walked into his friend's yard, smiling at his friend. Sora paused from blowing bubbles, grinning back at the boy.

"Of course! I'll go get my bag!"

He skipped in the house, screaming out for Leon, and skidded to a halt in his room. He grabbed his duffel bag and slid on a air of shoes, and ran down the stairs. He paused to yell goodbye, then slammed the door behind him. He ran out to half-tackle Riku, who laughed and ran his finger's through Sora's spiky hair. They walked over to Yazoo's car and chucked Sora's bag in the trunk before sliding in the backseat.

"Hello Soraaa." Yazoo sang from the front seat, Rude turning to nod at the boy.

"Heyheyhey!" He responded, causing Yazoo to laugh and Rude to cock his eyebrow at Riku.

The other boy blushed and shrugged, turning back to his friend. They talked on the way to the house, and Yazoo whispered over to Rude. They continued talking into the house, pausing as they heard music coming from the kitchen. They walked that direction, all stopping to stand in the doorway.

Xemnas and Saix, the silver haired boys' Dad and Step-dad, were twirling around together, singing along with the small TV on the counter. Sora cooed quietly, leaning into Riku's side lightly. Riku drew in a breath and glanced down at his friend with heavy lids. Yazoo nuzzled Rude's side and ushered him up the stairs.

[i][b]"Sunday, Monday, Happy Days. Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days. Thursday, Friday, Happy Days. The Weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to you. These days are ours. Happy and free. Oh Happy Days!"[/i][/b]

The two men danced and sang, Riku and Sora watching from their spot. Saix dipped Xemnas back, then pulled him up into a kiss. Sora squealed about love and Riku groaned.

"That's it! We're going to play video games!"

Xemnas broke away from his husband to see a flash of pink and red, and crazy hair. Saix rolled his eyes, yanking Xemnas in for another kiss.

SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE

"So, my brother totally wants to fuck The HeShe." Yazoo crawled up into Rude's lap, and the older chuckled.

"You mean El HyperaRetardo? Yeah, I'm not suprised.... You're awfully frisky today." Yazoo smiled lewdly and shifted to straddle his boyfriend.

"Mmm, I guess if he does date Sora, Loz won't be the only straight one after all. The Gang Bang Clan are coming in to town in a few days, I'll probably be busy, and won't get to see you..." He purred, and Rude smirked.

"Won't see my dick, you mean." Rude corrected, and Yazoo slid down to lick at his jeans.

"I'll miss it!" He retorted, whining.

"Then you should probably say goodbye, huh?"

Yazoo grinned, content with this responce, and pulled down Rude's pants, nuzzling into his pubic hair with his nose. He teased the length with his fingers until Rude was fully hardened, massaging the bottom with his fingertips. He took the head in his mouth, eyes narrowing with concentration. He tilted his head, skimming his canine tooth over Rude's slit, licking up the side. Rude groaned lowly, hands yanking Yazoo's head straight. The boy grinned around his mouthful, opeing wide and relaxing his jaw and throat. Yazoo rubbed at his boyfriend's thigh in encouragment and Rude took to thrusting almost violently into his mouth.

SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE

Sora and Riku sat flicking through music videos on Riku's laptop, the lights off, and joking abroad. Sora yawned and cuddled up to Riku's side, the boy sighing and flipping the computer shut. He cuddled closer to Sora and pulled the blanket over thier heads. The smaller giggled and nudged Riku. He turned toward Sora, pursing his lips, before swooping down to press a kiss on his shoulder. Sora looked over at his friend as he casually pressed kisses to his collarbone, then pushing him back. Riku glanced up in time to see Sora rolling over on top of him, yanking the blanket back up over thier heads again.

Sora settled himself on Riku's lap, leaning forward to nibble his jawline. Riku wrapped his arms around Sora, sucking on his neck. The ended up shirtless in thier underwear, Riku trying not to let his arousal show to Sora. Riku sat on Sora's stomach, licking his chest, when footsteps came into hearing. They both rolled away, yanking the blanket's over them. Saix poked his head in the door.

"Just wanted to say goodnight, so... Goodnight?" The man scrunched his nose up, and Sora giggled breathlessly agaisnt Riku.

"Yeah. G'Night, Mom. Tell Dad we said night too." Saix snarled lightly at the nickname 'mom' but it didn't come out as fierce as he would've liked.

"Your brother is coming into town tomorrow with boyfriend A and boyfriend 1." He stated as he walked away, and Riku groaned.

"I like your brother." Sora said, poking his friend as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I do too... They both must have a buisness meeting, and that's why Zack's coming too..." He turned to the brunette, but he was already asleep.

His heart twinged lightly as he curled up toward the body, carefully positioning himself close, but not touching.

SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE: BackToYazooAndRude

"Mmm, baby, you are amazing." Yazoo curled around Rude's wide bicep, grinning sleepily up at his boyfriend.

Rude chuckled and pulled the slinky silver haired boy closer, pressing a kiss to his face. The silverette trailed his fingers over Rude's muscles, dipping over every curve with a childlike expression. Rude twirled long hair around his fingers, before sighing and kissing his crown.

"I better go, Zoo." Yazoo pouted and rolled over to catch his lips again, pulling back a bit to play with his bottom lip.

"Bye, Ru. I'll see you tomorrow?" Rude chuckled at the little pout on Zoo's face, nodding and rubbing his finger on a high cheekbone before leaving.

* * *

[Cheers for being outofcharacter? I looove the parts with Rude and Yazoo. And a little bit of dancing XemSai. I offically love this story, mainly because I just sit and type and not worry about plot at all. It's niiice.  
... is it sad it's nearly impossible for me to write a story without SexyTime?]


	4. Keep Your Bitches On A Leash

You've Got Verve

Main Pairings for this chapter: SoRiku, RudeYazoo, and KadajReno - SephirothxZackx?  
Warnings: Faggotry, Sexual Content, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS. _Long rambles about how the Xehnohart's smell...._

**Chapter Four: Keep Your Bitches On A Leash, We Have A Law About That Here.**

Yazoo awoke at about two to here Kadaj roaming the halls, and snuck over to the door to pull it open.

"Da? That you?" The shortest brother backpeddled to his door, and rushed forward to hug his brother.

"Zoo! I can't sleep... I think I'm on No overload, was with him all day and miss him like fuck now!" Yazoo laughed at him and backed up, flopping them both into bed.

Kadaj curled and sighed, breathing in the scent so similar to his own but more like pomegrante and muskier. The musk was because of Rude. He himself smelled more like lemonade with sinful cinnamon smell because of Reno. Now that he thought about it Loz' extremely masculine smell was twinged mintier. Yazoo breathed deeply in as well, smiling into Kadaj's hair.

"Have you noticed Riku smells sweeter too, like bubblegum? Just like Dad started to smell like smokey oranges when he and Saix got together." Yazoo smiled up at his brother, feeling the heartache shared heartache between the too.

"Sephy started to smell like lilacs and chocolates too. It's the smell of love. How long do you think until Sora starts to smell like honey grahm crackers?" Yazoo glanced down at Kadaj and squinted.

"You think he smells like grahm crackers? I always thought pancake mix?" Kadaj made an adorable face with a crinkly nose.

"He smells like fresh crossants!" Loz called from the hallway. They all chuckled lightly, and Loz tromped into the room.

"Y'all are a bunch of faggots, know that?" He climbed into bed too and snuggled up with them.

"You miss you fucking whipping woman too, meanyface." Kadaj responded, sticking his tougne out. Loz chuckled and flicked him in the side. They laid in silence, comforting each other's loneliness.

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Riku awoke at about ten with Sora centimeters away from him. He rolled slightly forward 'accidently' and leaned agaisnt him. Sora rolled toward him in his sleep and he grinned to himself. He heard three sets of footsteps leaving Yazoo's room and laughed to himself, rubbing his fingers on Sora's face. He bit his lip before looking at his door; yup, still looked.

bDoooooo ittttt!/b his brain cooed.

'Huhhhh, twist me arm, why don't you?' He replied to his mind.

"Baby, wake up." He purred, half losing himself in his fantasy. He rubbed his thumb over Sora's cheek, leaning in to brush his lips agaisnt the side of Sora's mouth.  
"Sora, time to get up, Baby." He pressed his lips agaisnt Sora's, insantly hardening a bit and biting back a moan. The fact that he was a creeper passed through his mind and he pulled away. He flung a leg over Sora's body and shook him a bit.

"Soraaaa!" Riku grinned down at his friend, but the grin dropped as Sora's hips bucked up into his ass.

"Whatthefuckinghell!" Riku froze as Sora began laughing.

"Did you really think shaking me won't wake me up? Dork." Riku laughed too, rolling off of Sora and strolling over to his closet to grab some clothes. Sora bent over and pulled his clothes out of his bag, the two getting dressed and goofing around.

"I wonder when Seph'll get here?" Riku mumbled, glancing out the window.

"Smartiepants? That window leads to the backyard." Sora giggled, and latched onto his best friend's arm, gazing up at him through black eye-shadowed lids. Riku snarled jokingly down at him and pulled on a star shaped stud in his ear.

"SEPHIROTHHHHHHH!" A loud voice screeched. Graceful footsteps stomped down the stairs, followed by a quieter set right on his heels. Loz walked after them, and Riku sighed and nudged Sora toward the door with him.

Yazoo was fawning over Sephiroth's left arm, Kadaj speaking enthusiastically with Zack. Loz was a bit teary, hugging Seph once then backing away to stand with Xemnas and Saix. Sora pushed Riku down the rest of the stairs to hug his brother, and quickly followed suit.

"Hi, Sephiroth! Zack!" Sora hugged them both tight as Riku rolled his eyes, and turned to grin at his other brother-in-law.

"They're fucking nuts." He stated, leaning agaisnt the wall.

"Yes, but we love them anyway. Family is a disfunctional thing." Rufus placed his hand on Riku's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly as Sora threw himself over to where they stood.

"Heya Rufus! How're you?" Rufus smiled at the boy, glancing over at the brunette.

"I'm good Sora, you seem well." The boy nodded enthusiastically and Riku bit back a grin.

"We should help your Dad with the table, 'cause Yazoo isn't gonna let go of you brother." Riku nodded at his friend and followed him into the kitchen as Loz went back upstairs and Sephiroth based the clinging girly brother over to Zack's lap.

He waltzed his way over to Rufus, putting an arm around his shoulder, nuzzling his forehead into the short hair.

"I'm so glad Riku likes you, he's so antisocial. It's nice having you and Zack here with me. It's usually just one or the other." Sephiroth watched as Zack and Yazoo talked, before turning back to face Rufus.

"It is nice to have all of us here, when it isn't a holiday."

Rufus leaned up to kiss Sephiroth, leaning into his chest. Seph wrapped his arms Rufus' shoulders, and pulled him closer. Yazoo squealed lightly in the background and ran off, and Zack sauntered over to his two lovers. Rufus extended an arm as soon as Zack was within four feet, never breaking the kiss. Zack slunk in his arm, curling into the crack between their bodies, and started lapping at thier lips as tounges as they kissed. They tilted thier heads together more, pressing slightly flushed cheeks together and letting Zack in more. Rufus' arm curls more around Zack, and Sephiroth's hands start groping the two.

"Ahem." A voice makes them all freeze, and Saix pops his head over Xemnas shoulder.

"You are all 20-something year old men. Please keep your horomones in a lasso before you give your brothers worse ideas then they already have." Xemnas makes a confused face between disgusted and amused, then walks away shaking his head.

Sephiroth has the dignity to look embarresed, while Rufus is horrified and Zack smiles gleefully. They press together in one last kiss before following Saix and Xemnas into the kitchen.

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Cloud, Leon and Roxas sat at thier dinner table in awkward silence. Cloud won't look at either of them, and Leon pokes at his plate. Roxas puts his phone back in his pocket and lays his cheek in one palm, glancing between Leon and Cloud with an amused expression, lips dancing between a smile and a smirk. The two elder men squirmed under his glance, and Leon studied the ceiling while Cloud fidgeted.

"So, Sora will be home in an hour or so... how was your day?" Roxas tried to keep the laughter from his voice, but it's barely concealed.

"Oh boy, it was the best day so far..." Leon says and Cloud chokes. Roxas muffles his laughter in his arm, shaking his head. He stands and puts his dishes in the sink, walking up the stairs. He pauses and turns around.

"You two need to suck dick and chill out. The aura between you is making ime/i sexually frusterated."

He skips up the rest of the stairs and Leon and Cloud sit in stunned silence. Leon is flushed pink, and Cloud glares after Roxas. Cloud clears his throat as Leon pushes away from the table and they clear of the table and stand awkwardly in the kitchen. Leon draggs his fingers through his hair and cocks a hip to the side.

"So... uhm... I'll go get Sora?" He asks, glancing over at the blonde. He shrugs and shuffles around the dishes and Leon scrambles off to go outside. Leon hunches over the porch railing just as Cloud bangs his head on the fridge.

* * *

[Rufus and Sephiroth are my favorite crack pairing ever. And I haven't seen it anywhere else. Nine degrees of gorgeous right there.

Riku smells like sugar cookies in my mind. xD]


	5. It's Not All Shits And Giggles

You've Got Verve Main Pairings for this chapter: RoxasxInternetCreeper, couch!threesome, SoRiku Warnings: Faggotry, Sexual Content, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS.

**Chapter Five: It's Not All Shits And Giggles. [Pshh, yeah right.]**

Leon knocked on the door of the Xehnohart household, waiting a moment, then just pushing the door open. He froze mid-step, gagging on his own spit. A silverhaired guy he hadn't met before, he assumed it was Sephiroth -the 'other' brother- in some kind of 'Manwich' with a blonde and a black haired guy, all sucking noises and breathy pants. He backtracked quickly, tripping down the stairs, and falling agaisnt his car.

"Hey Leon!" Sora bounded from the back yard, Riku in tow, dragging his bag with him.

"H-Hey Sora." Leon shook his head to clear the image; that was twisting the short blonde into his spikyhaired one. That is Cloud, not Roxas... Ew.

Sora hugged Riku goodbye and got in the car, and Leon tried not to notice Riku shuffle his legs awkwardly as Sora got in the car. Living in a house like that, it was no wonder the kid popped a woody whenever Sora was in a half-a-mile radius. He remembered when Cloud did that to him...

Oh, wait, he still does.

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Roxas lounged on the couch with Namine and, suprisingly, Vexen. Marluxia had skipped out about an hour ago, leaving the 'Blonde Brigade' to thier 'dull, unenthusatic, Angst Clut meeting'. They were watching some show about animals or murderers or supermodels, or whatever- same difference, when Roxas' phone rang.

_'Come fly with me, let's fly, lets fly away. If you can use, some exotic booze, theres a bar in far bombay.'_

Roxas pulled his phone out, then pressed the side button, sheepishly putting it on the table.

"It's him again, isn't it?" Namine voice was slightly tense, and Vexen shook his head.

"How can you hate him so much? You've never even met him!" Roxas sighed, turning to stare at Namine.

"Neither have you!" She excliamed, eyes wide.

"How do you know it's not some creeper Roxas? I mean, this guy could be really dangerous." Vexen said, pursing his lips.

"He's not! And he's my age!" Roxas protested, flushing.

"How do you know? You can't be sure!" Namine demanded, turning a bit red. Vexen nodded, and they chorused reasons together, attacking the shortest blonde.

"How? This is how!" Roxas shouted back, flipping open his phone and pressing a few buttons before shoving it towards Namine's face.

The recorded sound was a bit muffled and shaky, but the images simply confirmed it. The person was definatly saying Roxas' name, and the image on the screen on was definatly not PG-13. Namine gasped and Vexen burst into horrified laughter.

"Roxas!" She yelled, and the other blonde boy pouted angrily.

"What you didn't believe me?!" He shrieked back, and Vexen snatched the phone, playing the video again. Namine and Roxas argued while he fast-foward and paused.

"AHA!" Both the shorter jumped and turned toward him.

"Check it out, I got it to pause perfectly so we could see more of Mystery Man. He seems pretty hot." He turned the phone back toward them and Namine blushed bright red and turned back to the TV.

Roxas scrambled over to her to peer into the small screen. The actual shot was simply of the guys hard-on, head pink and dripping shiny. Behind that though, (if you'd ever think to look beyond that), a firm body and shadows of a face lay. Roxas squealed and pulled the phone closer.

"Namine, look Namine, look! OHmyGOD, Namine, look!" Roxas grinned and pushed the phone toward her, but she just blushed, shuddered and pushed him back.

"UH, Roxas, actually, me and Vexen are gonna go, and uh..." Namine ran out the door, and Vexen shrugged and followed her.

"Bye Roxas. Have, erm, fun?" The eldest shook his head and pulled the door shut.

Roxas rolled over onto his back and sighed, rubbing his thumb over the picture. He glanced around before opening up his texts, clicking that oh-so-familiar number.

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"So, Sora, did you have fun?" Leon glanced over at his cousin, and the boy enthuastically nodded.

"Yup! I got see Sephiroth, and Zack, and Rufus, they're Seph's boyfriends, again, which was nice, and me and Riku had fun. It's too bad you couldn't meet them, Rufus, Zack, and Sephiroth that is..." Leon coughed a few times, then glanced back at the now quiet boy.

"What's wrong?" Sora chuckled a bit at Leon's concerned Mommy tone, but tugged on his earring a few times.

"Does Riku like me?" He asked quietly.

"Erm." Leon stared over at the boy, furrowing his eyebrows.

"'Cause, uh, we've, ya know fooled around a bit, but then this morning... He thought I was asleep, but I woke up when he rolled over on me, and... it was like, he like, _wanted_ us to be together you know? Like he was pretending we were, but it was weird, and I didn't think Riku liked me, and I mean, I guess I like him, 'cause we have fooled around, and I did like that, but I don't know, ya know? Like, I known I'm gay, and I guess he's bi or whatever, which really, everyone kinda is, right? But anyway, yeah, he called me baby and stuff, which was a little weird and stuff, 'cause I was asleep, well supposed to be, and then I thought maybe he knew, but then he kissed me, and pulled away and sat on me to wake me up and stuff... And, goodlord, Leon, what do I do? Do you know if he likes me?"

Sora said this all with hardly breathing, flinging his hands around and turning toward Leon. The other brunette blinked thickly, squinting one eye as he tried to sort through Sora's speech. He went with just telling Sora what he knew.

"Yes, Sora, Riku likes you. I think he's been hinting and flirting in his own way. You should take it into your own hands." Leon pulled into the driveway and turned off the car.

"Thanks Leon! I'll think of a plan. Hey, you should take your own advice.... Cloud really likes you, you know? You guys should quit messing around and just kiss." Sora slammed the car door shut, and Leon banged his head on the steerwheel a few times.

Roxas grinned as Sora skipped in the house, and the car horn beeped loud and long a few times. Cloud looked up from his magazine, and glanced at Sora. The boy grinned and flopped on Roxas' lap.

"I need your advice, big brother."

[Part of this is based on true facts. ]


End file.
